TQ&EGtWGF: Chapter 13…Description

Description is most important when writing novels and novellas. It takes a lesser role in short stories and novelettes, though you may want to describe certain plot points or characters in detail within shorter works in order for your readers to get a better grasp of the story.

In this chapter, we will discuss description used in novels and novellas, description used in short stories and novelettes, describing things, and describing action.

13a: Description in Novels and Novellas:

You will typically want to establish description early when writing a novel or novella. It’s important to describe your characters and places when writing longer pieces of fiction.

13a1: Characters:

Your main OCs (Original Characters) and important side characters need detailed description the moment they’re introduced or, if it suits the story, shortly after they’re introduced. Be sure to include defining features for your main characters and important side characters. Affectations, or character quirks, can be displayed later as the story progresses.

Here is an example of character description:

Jacob walked through the diner door.

He was a big man, over six feet tall, but his face was soft in nature, almost baby-like in quality, though no one had ever actually told him that. He had spent years building muscle through construction and plumbing work, and his large hands belied the fine acuity he possessed while working with smaller tools. He considered himself an artist at what he did, though he seriously doubted anyone else believed that.

He had stopped by the diner directly after finishing his last job, fixing Mrs. Gerber’s basement leak, so he was still dressed in his blue plumber’s overalls, but they were only mildly stained with grime. It was a little tacky to walk into an eating establishment like this, but at least he’d taken the time to clean his big black work boots.

He liked Elsa’s diner because Katey worked here, and she sometimes gave him a look, that look that might be interest, something that sparked interest in him as well. Heck, he was only twenty-seven, and though he had a baby face, his blond hair and blue eyes still stood out amongst a normal crowd…Yeah, he considered himself attractive.

As you can see from the example above, when you describe someone or something, the description doesn’t have to be blasé. We’ve worked in a clever way to put forth our main character’s appearance without just writing: Jacob was six-two, white, and muscular. He had blond hair, blue eyes, and a baby face.

Put a little story and exposition into your descriptions, and you can’t go wrong.

13a2: Places:

Description of places is important for building setting; however, detailed description of a place is only necessary when building plot and action points. If a place is going to be revisited over and over again, then a detailed description is necessary, but this usually only needs to be done once.

Here is an example of place description:

The cell he was locked in was a mere ten-by-seven-foot rectangle with little in it to pass the time. The walls were constructed from the same dark, alien metal as the rest of the ship, as were the floor and ceiling, so there was no digging his way out with some kind of improvised tool. There were no bars, of course, just the strange yellow energy field that was like steel to the touch.

There was a bed made to his liking, probably extracted from his memories, but the toilet was right next to it, not exactly an ideal position, and that toilet was made from the same dark metal as the floor, ceiling, and walls, so it was going to be a cold sit-down. At least the bed had a clean white sheet covering it, though it was a single sheet, and the small, square white pillow at its head looked comfortable enough. That was all there was to the bed besides its mattress and metal frame.

Still, Brian needed to get off of this ship, and he knew there was a way…He just had to escape this cell first.

The description above is grouped together all at once because that’s all the information the reader needs to know from Brian’s point of view. Brian may be in this cell for a while, at least for a full chapter, but coming up with an escape plan is part of the plot. The description of the cell ensures that the reader has all of the information beforehand so that there are no descriptive plot holes.

Like description of characters, places can be described over time as well, usually by your character interacting with what’s in the place.

Here is an example of place description through interaction:

Ginny walked through her bedroom to her desk.

The soft blue carpet beneath her bare feet was soothing in its familiarity, but she had something more important to attend to. She could relax once her anxiety was fully relieved, but that would only be possible once she had actually gathered her motivation and taken to the task at hand.

She pulled out her wooden desk chair and sat down in front of her PC, taking a moment to flick the bright-orange hair of the small plastic troll parked next to her black keyboard. She took to the internet after that, typing in the short description she needed to get started finding something that would make her some money.

“Now…” she said in a firm voice. “There has to be a part-time job I can take to help me pay for these concert tickets. Let’s see…”

She had to save enough for everything necessary, the bus fare, food, a motel, and the tickets themselves, and those tickets had to be bought early. The concert was only four months away.

From the description above, we can tell that Ginny’s bedroom has blue carpet, a desk, a wooden chair at the desk, a personal computer on the desk, a black keyboard, and a little plastic troll with bright-orange hair next to the keyboard. We can describe more of her bedroom through more interaction, but this type of description only focuses on what’s important for the task at hand for the character in question.

13b: Description in Short Stories and Novelettes:

Description in short stories and novelettes works just like description in novels or novellas, but with a few tweaks. You must be judicious in what you describe. You don’t exactly have a lot of pages to work with. In this section, we will briefly go over description of characters and places again, but tweaked for short stories and novelettes.

13b1: Characters:

If a story is really short, then character description should be as brief as possible unless the character in question is really important to the plot. Short stories and novelettes should imply or suggest character description rather than be overly detailed.

Here is an example of character description in a short story or novelette:

Roderick entered the bar, but he was not happy about it. He knew Bethany was in here, and he knew she had a fake ID. She wouldn’t turn twenty-one until March.

He spotted her next to a young punk wearing a black leather vest and a white tank top, the young man’s arms covered in tattoos.

Roderick cracked his knuckles. He needed to get back to the house and unload the wood he’d brought home from the outlying forest, several huge logs, trees he’d cut down himself, and this little diversion was definitely wasting his time and ticking him off.

His daughter was in a lot of trouble, but not as much trouble as that boy at the bar was going to be in if he so much as breathed on her.

From the passage above, we can infer that Roderick has a twenty-year-old daughter, so he is probably middle-aged, in his forties or so. We know he must be big, fit, and tough because he went and cut down several trees and brought the wood home by himself. His ethnicity and exactly what he looks like are left unsaid…We’ll leave that to the imagination of the reader. However, the young man hitting on his daughter is described well enough to look like a ne’er-do-well, which is how we want to describe him in order to give Roderick’s reaction to him some context.

13b2: Places:

Places in short stories and novelettes should only be described when necessary, and a brief description is usually the only thing required. This description details the necessary setting for where the short story or novelette will take place.

Here is an example of setting description for a short story or novelette:

The hiking trail was a winding and stony dirt path surrounded by brush and thorn trees, a sharp incline marking the arduous journey that was about to begin. Mikath did not like the look of it—it was a great spot for ambush—but his guide had made this journey many times already, so he had to trust in that. The Temple of the Last Light awaited.

From the passage above, we can envision the setting in our mind, and therefore, we can advance the plot with only minor additions of description to the surroundings.

Because action and/or interaction between characters is important within a short story or novelette, description of a particular part of the setting may be required in order to set up the action or interaction in question.

Here is an example of description through action and character interaction:

“This is a fool’s errand!” hissed Lami. “We should be striking at the palace, not running after the tail of an ancient myth!”

“Keep your voice down!” growled Old Krinn.

He glared at her once in warning, but the young woman would have none of it.

“Don’t tell me my business, old fool!” yelled Lami.

Lami picked up a stick from the trail and snapped it over her knee, the sound reverberating around the forest trees.

Mikath stood in stark silence as loud hoots sounded out in response, the cries coming from all around him. He stood next to a particularly large thorn tree, a dark thing of black wood and blood-red, jagged, triangular leaves, but what caught his attention was the large and muscular shadow directly above him, that bestial shape prepared to drop down upon him.

As you can see, the description of place is just enough to add onto what we’ve already provided within the previous setting description. Only use as much description as necessary when writing a short story or novelette, as the point of the story must be made within the limit of a reduced number of pages. If you’re unsure whether your short story or novelette will end up being a novel or novella, you can always revise description later by adding or subtracting as necessary.

13c: Describing Things:

Objects and things should be treated just like characters when their descriptions are detailed. Otherwise, objects and things will fit into the description of places, and such place descriptions should only provide a general description of any objects in question. Only use a detailed description of an object when that object holds as much importance as a character.

Here is an example of a detailed description of an object:

The cross he bore was made of blessed yew, the wood slightly darker than it should have been. The cross was crafted in the Celtic shape, and the circle at its center was overlaid with silver, the lines etched into the wood matching the circle, a demonstration of the purity of the metal lamination. It had been handed down to Arthur by Father Callahan, but the old priest had never explained how it had been made or where he had obtained it.

As you can see, we’ve put some detail into Arthur’s cross because that cross is important to the story.

For regular objects and things, we simply use a general, cursory description:

Georgette sat down with the others, resting her butt in one of the uncomfortable wooden chairs surrounding the small, square kitchen table. She picked up the crisscrossed, red-backed cards as Kyle dealt them, fully ready to play some poker with the boys.

We can see above that we’ve used a general description to describe the chairs, kitchen table, and playing cards. That’s all that’s necessary for this particular scene and paragraph with Georgette.

When describing objects used during character action, you’ll typically only use a general description, as detailing the actual action is usually more important.

You could describe the type of chair Georgette sits in, its brand name, its manufacture date, and even the name of the person who crafted it, but this makes little sense for the situation at hand. Georgette sits in the chair in order to play poker. There’s no reason to point out anything else unless it’s necessary to the scene or overall story.

13d: Describing Action:

Whether your characters are in a battle, climbing a mountain, playing golf, or about to kiss, action describes what they do and how they do it. Action is described in a similar manner regardless of whether you’re writing a short story, novelette, novel, or novella, so we’ve tacked it onto the end of this chapter for easy reference. Here, we will go over the two ways to describe action: the general way and the detailed way.

13d1: General Description of Action:

You will use general descriptions of action most of the time. A general description of action is just detailed enough for your readers to imagine what’s going on.

Here are some examples of general description:

Joe walked down the hallway and opened the bedroom door.

Erica held Heath in her arms and kissed him lightly on the lips.

Martin played with the soccer ball a bit.

General descriptions of action are best used when you’re setting up story plot or just want to briefly touch upon what your characters are doing. You will often use general description of action when you’re transitioning between scenes or settings, or describing what characters are doing during dialogue.

13d2: Detailed Description of Action:

A detailed description is where the action is at. In other words, this is where you’re specifically focusing on the action of a moment in time. A detailed description adds depth to the scene you want to display to your readers.

Here are the same examples of action listed above, but this time with more description:

Joe walked down the hallway as he whistled a jaunty tune, a spring in his step. He carried the high note of that tune for a full ten seconds, a nice little trick he had picked up when he was only a boy. He opened the door to the bedroom, turning the knob in a lazy fashion, all cares of the world forgotten for the time being, those worries carried away by the last notes of his talented whistle.

Erica wrapped her hands around Heath’s waist as she smiled and stared up into his dark-brown eyes. She pulled him close to her, and he wrapped his arms around her in return. She had to stand on tiptoe in order for her lips to reach his, but the kiss was light, a prelude to something more.

Martin kicked the ball into the air, bounced it once upon his right knee, bounced it off his left knee, swiveled, and then snapped backward with his right leg to kick the old soccer ball into the air one more time, launching the dirty sphere off the bottom of his equally dirty shoe. The ball spun high into the air, but he adjusted his position long enough to hit it one last time off his forehead, a quick headbutt that sent the ball sailing forward in a short arc across the grass of the backyard.

Describing action in detail is especially important when writing scenes for particular genres. Know your crowd. When writing romance, for example, your love scenes should be dedicated to that detailed description. When writing adventure, don’t skimp on the description of your character swinging across a ravine while being shot at, dodging a deadly ancient trap, etc.

Knowing when to put in the best description for action is a matter of practice and learning, but most of the time, it revolves around common sense. If you’re writing a Western, for example, you probably don’t need a detailed description of how your character leads their horse to the trough. You’ll probably want to save that descriptive action for a shootout or brawl.

13e: In Closing:

So, here we are at the end of the chapter. Let’s review what we’ve learned:

1: Description is more important in novels and novellas than in short stories and novelettes.

2: Characters and places need description in novels and novellas.

3: Only important characters and places need description in short stories and novelettes.

4: Only important objects need description. Otherwise, objects only need a general description in order to flesh out a place or character action.

5: General action is used when setting up plot or touching upon what your characters are doing. General action is best used for transitioning between scenes or describing what characters are doing during dialogue.

6: Detailed action is best when it’s tailored to your genre. Use common sense when deciding what to describe in detail based on the genre you’re writing in.

The image for Chapter 13 of TQ&EGtWGF was generated by artificial intelligence courtesy of OpenAI.