11: Churpo Zurbop…Hurmooga Looga (Chapter Eleven…An Oily Mistake)
“Slipperus Bindukai!” cried out Lyga in a wincing choke.
Dulp wasn’t stupid. He knew a counterspell when he heard one, because though Jenny was bound by the magical shadow chains that Gesine had cast upon the bogo witch, and though those summoned chains were currently trying to pull Jenny apart, the crimson-eyed bogo still had ahold of her own gopher-skull staff in her right hand, so she was not defenseless.
Unfortunately, the counterspell did not work as intended. Apparently, the spell should have been incanted with greater specificity, something more verbally accurate, such as “slipperus shadowcon chainiki,” because Jenny’s quick and panicked incantation was worded in the broadest possible sense; it was to the effect to slip out of all bindings…all bindings.
Jenny’s grass-green skin lubed over with a slick sheen as if she were coated in cooking oil, and then she popped straight up and out of her black dress, squirting straight up out of her dress like a greased weasel from a sewage pipe. Her completely oiled-up, clotheless self hung in the air for a strange second, and then she landed, fully naked, right on top of Dulp.
Dulp could only remember two things from this incident: he remembered falling to the ground with Jenny on top of him, and then he remembered the naked, oiled-up witch sliding across him like a melting pat of butter on a hot iron skillet.
Jenny slid directly across his face as she continued sliding into the grass, and Dulp’s button nose traced a line down her soft, lubricated skin, right down her spine all the way down to the crack of no return, something so horrific (right down the crack, right across the worst possible place imaginable, right across Jenny’s unmentionable and dirtiest part of her body, his nose right the frick across it, right across that most unspeakable part of Jenny) that it broke Dulp’s fragile psyche then and there, cashing in all of his sanity points in one terrible go.
Naturally, panic was not the word for what Dulp experienced at that moment. No, this was beyond anything he had ever had to deal with, even Lyga’s Rush Time torture, so his only response was sheer screaming insanity.
He popped up to his feet in an instant, squealing like mad, and then he ran in no particular direction as his brain desperately tried to keep itself from imploding.
He could see everyone else as he ran, screeching, through the grass, and as a consequence of his insane shrieking, this whole little battlefield directly outside of Pingo came to a swift and sudden halt.
Lyga had her spear rammed through the crotchal area of one particularly decayed zombie, a really ugly cuss, but that nasty zombie also had her in a headlock and had clearly been punching her in the face, as the young and fierce bogo had some swiftly forming black eyes to show for it. Both of them were now frozen in wide-eyed surprise as Dulp ran shrieking past them, but they were only the first of the others for him to pass, as there were yet more surprises along the way.
Xenon’s short sword was stuck right between the buttocks of another zombie, the sword point poking out of the groin area without so much as a by-your-leave, the blade rattling back and forth as if the undead farmer it was stuck in had just rapidly turned. That rotting farmer had Xenon by the neck. Her diminutive form (diminutive compared to the undead human) was raised high off the ground, and though he was currently throttling her and she was being throttled, they both turned to stare at Dulp as he ran screaming past them.
And then there was Akira the Blade and Tall Sally. These two were both gripped by the backs of their heads by one huge zombie, this human at least six-and-a-half-feet tall, and this big bastage was mashing their faces together in what had to be a pretend kiss, as if a human child were forcing two dolls together, and Dulp would have found this hilarious under any other circumstance, but his brain had already shut off, so this would not occur to him that it was funny until after his sanity had returned.
At any rate, the huge zombie holding Tall Sally and Akira was on his knees, mainly because Akira’s long knives were stuck in his ankles, as it was clear her opening shot had not incapacitated him like she had hoped. Tall Sally’s war hammer was on the ground next to the three of them, and the look on her mashed face (mashed against Akira’s, of course) was fit to rival the look on the face of the gob that Sally’s hammer was fashioned in likeness, that likeness now on Dulp, because at this very moment, he could have modeled for the screaming gob that made up the head of that notorious weapon.
Both bogos froze and turned sideways glances toward the screeching figure of Dulp, as did the giant zombie holding them, all while Dulp was shrieking and screaming past them.
Last but not least was the trinity of sadism that was Curly Shirley and the JoJos.
A big zombie (not quite as big as the one that held Akira and Tall Sally) had the big moldy and time-eaten leather boot of his rotting right foot on Shirley’s chest, right between her boobies, tamped down on her pretty pink and white dress, and he was currently pushing her into the soft earth of the field beneath her with that moldy boot. In his right hand, he held aloft one of the JoJos by her long black hair, and the other was held aloft by her own staff, and that staff had been strategically rammed up and through her panties to give her one excruciatingly painful wedgie, half her bare bottom showing, as the metal-banded tip of the staff was poking up through the back hem of her delicate and somehow untorn undies.
Curly Shirley had a frozen stare of breathless pain upon her pretty face as she watched Dulp run, while the JoJo being held by her hair had a frozen wince of pain on her face. The other JoJo, the one being held up by a staff-borne wedgie, had a much deeper grimace than the hair-pulled JoJo, but both of their unhappy expressions were locked in surprised place as Dulp came squealing and screeching past them. Even the big zombie holding the three bogos in captivity had a shocked and lipless look of frightened confusion upon his rotted face as Dulp ran past them like there was no tomorrow (and at that moment, he didn’t believe there was).
Skippy’s Field Notes #47:
The bogos of Pingo are not quite as undefeatable or as indestructible as I had first surmised. Unfortunately, the ladies of Pingo, though quite adept at complete groin destruction in combat, lack any other type of combat prowess when it comes to creatures or enemies without a discernable crotch. True, they do strike the head when given the opportunity, but they first have to “set up” a shot in order to do so, and many of their opening attacks are simply ineffective against undead such as zombies.
Hmmm…I’m not exactly a seasoned warrior, but I think I can help them with this one. I took a class on Close Quarters Combat at the Academy, and I happened to take that class with twenty ladies from across campus, as campus CQC is generally considered for women only, but I, being a strapping young halfling lad, was considered too small in stature to join the men’s pugilism course, so I was “stuck” with the women, and I must say, I preferred it that way.
I was, of course, the only man in that course.
Oh, the attention I got in that class! I was flipped over so many beautiful hips, slapped countless times, had my hair pulled back as I was kneed in the crotch, and I even took a dropped-elbow to the groin! I learned so much!
But I digress. Campus CQC was almost exclusively for women, and considering it was basically “one hundred and one ways to decrotch a man,” all I have to do is tell the bogos to hit everywhere else…In fact, I’ve taken several—ahem—anatomy courses, so I could point out other vulnerable targets, such as the head, neck, and the joints of the body, and I think the bogos could then “refit” for appropriate combat against the undead.
Still, it brings a smile to my face every time I remember Adelheid Afflerbach’s running, punting kick to my crotch that knocked me straight up into the very ample and incredibly bouncy bosom of Katharina Shäffer! Oh, what a mammo…errr…memory!
S.P.W.
Dulp would have continued to run screaming into the night, and he probably would have never stopped running, but alas, it was not meant to be. Unfortunately, his screeching and squealing path took him right towards the beautiful yet menacing and ever imposing form of Gesine Altergott.
Gesine, surprised but not undaunted, naturally defended herself.
“Magicas Bolti Explodicus!” she exclaimed as she waved her dark-root wand.
The magic hooch coursing through Dulp had, of course, increased his adroitness, alertness, and reflexes, and his defensive reaction to the attack occurred as a survival instinct in spite of his insanity, as this natural reflexive defense had evolved into goblins in general over time, though without the hooch, no defense Dulp could have come up with would have mattered, as the attack spell went off a split second after Gesine had cast it.
Dulp’s uncanny survival instinct forced him to jump up as he continued his run forward. An explosion of magical purple light went off behind him, blasting dirt and debris everywhere, and then he was flung forward right into the startled face of Gesine. He had curled into a little ball out of instinct, and thankfully, the most padded section of his body, his bottom to be exact, collided with Gesine’s head in a most timely fashion.
Naturally, she was knocked down and out by the force of the blow whilst Dulp went rolling onwards into the grass toward the tree line of the forest in the distance, and he lay there for some time as he gathered his stunned wits about him.
Unbeknownst to him during this time, the zombies in the area disintegrated from reality, disintegrating into tiny wisps of shadow, as they had been summoned by Gesine rather than constructed by her, and because she was out of commission, her hold over them was summarily gone, and they vanished in said wispy puffs of darkness, returning to the realm of Death where they firmly belonged.
Skippy’s Field Notes #48:
Constructed undead are always more valuable than summoned undead, because the latter vanishes as soon as the summoner’s concentration is firmly and thoroughly broken. Such summons involving lesser undead, such as zombies and skeletons, are easier to maintain than summons involving higher-order undead, as the summoner simply has to remain conscious in order to maintain a lesser summons.
Gesine, thankfully, is a lesser necromancer, meaning she could only summon or construct lesser undead, which is a good thing for Pingo, because that meant the Duke was not worried about any heavy resistance from the tiny village, which also meant he seriously underestimated the resistance which is actually here.
Also thankfully, Dulp’s bravery ensured victory over Gesine’s little army, because otherwise, I don’t know what I would have done. I suppose I could have run back to the village to grab more hooch, but the bogos could have been killed before my return, and I would have had to take an entire year to mourn each and every one of them, one whole year for each, as is befitting of the loss of such beautiful works of art…errr…beloved friends. There would have been no greater tragedy.
Of course, if Dulp had died, I would have lost a dear friend, and I would have had to mourn him for a period of no less than three hours, as is befitting of a person of his make and model…errr…stature.
S.P.W.
Dulp opened his eyes, groaned, and stared up into the smiling yet still incredibly ugly face of Skippy.
“You did it, old buddy!” said the ugly gob. “You saved the day!”
“I did?” asked Dulp.
For some strange reason, he could not remember what had transpired over the last few minutes…Eh, it was probably better that way.
“You sure did!” replied Skippy in exuberant excitement. “You knocked out Gesine!”
“I did?” asked Dulp. “What happened?…Wait…I probably don’t want to know.”
“It’s fine, it’s fine,” breathed Skippy as he helped Dulp to his feet. “The ladies have Gesine in custody, and I’ll make sure she’s escorted from town.”
“Escorted?” asked Dulp in disbelief. “They haven’t killed her?”
“No, no,” said Skippy. “No, I won’t allow it…Gesine is…troubled, not evil. In fact, I’m going to have a word with her right—”
His sentence abruptly ended as a high-pitched shriek pierced the night air. Skippy turned his attention toward the sound, winced, and then shook his head.
“Hang on,” he said quickly. “I’ll be right ba—”
His sentence was once again cut short by another screech, and then another sounded out after that, and then another.
Dulp turned to look at what had caught both of their attentions.
Lyga, Xenon, Tall Sally, Akira the Blade, and Curly Shirley were all holding down the sorceress/slash necromancer that was Gesine Altergott, and they had her face down in the dirt with her butt raised in the air. The human magic user had her dress pulled up and her undies pulled down to reveal her big bare human butt, and the twins, the two JoJos, were taking turns whacking each of the poor young woman’s big bare cheeks with their staves, each thwack of their staves sounding out another high-pitched shriek from the human sorceress in question.
“Girls! Girls! Quit that!” yelled Skippy as he trotted toward them.
Dulp trotted after him, curious as to what he was going to do, but one look around told him that one of their village members was missing.
“Wait…Where’s Jenny?” he asked without thinking.
He did not know why he had asked that, but he figured his question to be a survival instinct, as it was probably a good idea to know where the bogo witch was at all times.
“Oh, that spell she cast made her slide all the way back to the village,” said Skippy, “but she’s fine, I’m sure. Anyway, that’s not important right now.”
“Spell?” asked Dulp. “What spell?”
He had a nagging warning in his head not to question this further, and this warning was a serious one, and he never ignored the serious ones. Even so, he had flashes of memory strike him, but he pushed those memories down for the time being. It was best he not poke that bear.
“You don’t remember?” asked Skippy in audible disbelief. “Seriously?”
“No, and I think I don’t want to,” said Dulp in slight fear. “Let’s just handle this situation.”
By “let’s” he really meant “you,” because he did not want to deal with the bogos in any way, shape, or form, especially when they were dishing out some of their nasty punishments. He was too smart to get involved in that mess.
“If that’s what you want,” said Skippy. “Anyway, we’ve got to deal with this.”
As they neared the little group, the JoJos continued their thwacking and whacking of Gesine’s bare butt, all while singing one of their distinctive and sadistic little rhymes:
“Big ol’ boobies,
Big ol’ butts,
Human girls are
big ol’ mutts.
“Whack them in
Their big ol’ cheeks,
Charge like goats,
And make them bleat
“Thwack them till
They lay right down
Whack them till
They screech and frown.
“They can’t follow
From their beds,
’Cause their cheeks
Are shiny red!”
Of course, the twins had not used the word “mutts” in their little song; they had used a word that rhymed with “mutts,” but Dulp automatically censored that word as soon as it had entered his brain.
“Hey, hey, hey!” barked Skippy. “Stop that! Stop that right now!”
“Awwww,” said both twins in unison. “We were having fun.”
Skippy instantly took command as soon as the JoJos acquiesced to his admonishment.
“Tall Sally, Akira, and Curly Shirley, let her up but hold onto her,” he commanded. “Gesine and I are going to have an important talk…Lyga and Xenon…go check on Jenny. I think she’s okay, but she slid all the way back to the village, so I need to know for sure…Understand?”
Lyga leaned over and whispered something into Xenon’s right ear, the two grinned and then giggled slightly, and then Lyga stood tall and firm as she looked Skippy in the eye.
“Anything for you, Skippy,” she replied, but Dulp could still hear a slight giggle in her voice.
She ran off toward the village after that, Xenon in tow, but Dulp knew the two were up to no good, and what were they up to?…He really didn’t want to know.
The other bogos raised up Gesine to a kneeling position as the young human woman took to pulling up her undies whilst under the grip of the three holding her in place.
There were tears streaming down the young necromancer’s face as she tore into Skippy with a verbal tirade.
“I hate you, Skippy!” screeched Gesine. “You’ve ruined everything! Now I’ll never be a vampiress! I hate you, I hate you, I hate you! I’m telling!”
She broke down into loud, wailing sobs after that, and normally something like Gesine’s tantrum would have angered someone like Dulp, but Skippy had a different take on the matter. No, instead of being angry, the expression upon Skippy’s face was nothing short of pity.
“No, you won’t,” he said firmly but sadly. “You’re going back to the Academy, Gesine.”
The young human woman looked upon Skippy with sheer surprise mixed with confusion. Skippy’s statement had even stopped her inane wailing.
“What?” she asked after a few silent seconds.
“I’m going to give you a letter of recommendation for the position of Defense Against the Duke’s Arts position,” said Skippy in growing confidence. “It’s about time the Academy recognized your hard work and your talent…and I can’t think of a better choice.”
The young human woman looked very confused after that. Her wailing had completely stopped for the moment, and she wiped her eyes clear of tears as she stared directly into Skippy’s own blue eyes.
“What?” she asked again. “I can’t do that…They’ll never take me…Professor Polinus Gilleywung has that position anyway.”
“He’s out,” sighed Skippy. “He got canceled, and they haven’t chosen a replacement yet.”
“How did that happen?” asked Gesine as she sniffed twice and reached down to rub her clearly aching bottom.
“It’s a long story,” sighed Skippy again.
Skippy’s Field Notes #49:
So, the Defense Against the Duke’s Arts professor was Polinus Gilleywung, but he got kicked out due to…what I consider anyway…something really stupid.
It all started because of a well-known fact. Everyone knows that gnomes can’t carry a tune (they are peerless alchemists, engineers, and illusionists, but 90% of them are tone deaf), which is why there are no gnome bards, but gnomes are well-known tricksters prone to mischief, so another gnomish professor, Dungeonius Draconis, who teaches the Dungeons Explorations class, played a joke on his (mainly) human students by claiming that a famous gnomish dungeoneer, Heemo Burlygin, had actually been a bard of some renown.
Not to be shown up, another gnomish professor, Professor Pathendus Finderus, who teaches the Wilderness Exploration class, backed up Dungeonius’ false claim by stating to her students that her cousin was also an excellent bard.
Polinus, being quite old and set in his ways, would have none of this, so he went on a long rant to his students about the illegitimacy of such claims, but by then, it was too late. The students in both Dungeonius’ and Pathendus’s classes had already been brainwashed into believing the lie, so they protested for weeks—and I mean WEEKS—outside of the Defense Against the Duke’s Arts classroom.
Needless to say, the joke had gone too far, and the other two professors should have been fired, but they clearly sensed they were in trouble, so they doubled down on their own claims that gnomes could indeed sing and be bards. They were, of course, backed by their own students, and those students harassed any other student who disagreed by claiming the disagreeing parties were, in fact, “gnomophobic.”
Unfortunately, the Academy had to do something, because the protests were disrupting everything, not just the Defense Against the Duke’s Arts class. Naturally, they ended up making the exact wrong decision. They deemed Polinus to be “unfit to teach due to his racist views,” and they let the poor old codger go.
Last I’d heard, he’d gone off to a retirement village, which is really, really sad in my opinion, because I’ve always liked the old guy.
Gnomes and their stupid, tone-deaf pranks, I swear.
S.P.W.
“Anyway, that’s not important,” said Skippy firmly. “You’re going to clean yourself up, Gesine, and you’re going to stop this ‘wanting to be a vampiress’ nonsense. Nothing good ever came from those bloodsuckers, and the Duke is not a nice guy, and you know he’ll drain you dry if you go back to him, so you are going to buck up, get aboard the first wagon to the city, and take my letter of recommendation to the Academy…
“I have connections now. They’ll let you in…mainly because no one wants the job in respects to what happened to Professor Gilleywung, but considering your extensive knowledge of the Duke and your growing expertise in the field of Necromancy, they’ll take you right away…well, as long as you don’t mention anything about gnomes.”
“Really?” asked Gesine.
Her tone had shifted from watery to tentatively hopeful, and Dulp was actually moved by how Skippy had ultimately handled the situation. Of course, if the ugly little gob even had connections with human authority…Great Gob in the Made Place! That meant…That meant Skippy was actually…He was actually…
That meant Skippy was truly a frightening badass of the White Skulls. Dulp was sure glad the ugly little gob was on Pingo’s side.
“Yes, really,” nodded Skippy.
“How do I know I can trust you?” asked the young sorceress. “You’ve already betrayed me once, Skippy.”
“I was saving the village,” sighed Skippy. “I had to lie to you…Those skeletons were really fine work, by the way. They both impressed and scared me…It’s a shame I had to destroy them…Anyway, that’s not important. What is important is that you know the bogos would have killed you if I hadn’t intervened. I mean, why would I offer you anything at all if I wanted you dead? That’s just stupid.”
“You could just want information,” grimaced Gesine.
Skippy shook his head no as he winced at that accusation.
“No way!” he said unhappily. “You know we’d have to torture you to get any information out of you, and there’s no way I’d let anyone…anyone at all…destroy a gorgeous, priceless work of art like you. There’s no way I’m going to let anyone lay a hand on you and mar that natural beauty.”
“So that’s it?” she asked. “You only care about my looks?”
“No, I’d save you even if you were ugly,” said Skippy, a little frustration evident in his lilting voice. “It’s because I don’t believe you’re evil, Gesine. I know what it was like for you at the Academy. I know you’ve suffered. I was there, remember?”
She nodded once and then looked thoughtful.
“Do you really think I’m beautiful?” asked Gesine.
Dulp rolled his eyes over their conversation. All females thought they were beautiful, even the ugly ones, like human females…especially humans. True, human females were a little more attractive than the even uglier races, like elves and halflings, but they were still butt ugly compared to your average bogo, and any gob worth his salt avoided the females of his own species anyway. Only a fool looked for that kind of trouble…So Skippy was, in fact, a little foolish from Dulp’s point of view. Skippy just happened to have the Great Gob’s own luck when it came to the bogos, but Dulp?…He knew better.
Skippy, on the other hand, shared a different opinion on the matter. The ugly little gob gave Gesine a wide grin and nodded once.
“You truly are a knockout, Gesine!” he said.
Dulp could tell that the ugly little gob wasn’t lying. He was getting a little better at telling if Skippy was lying anyway. After all, Skippy was a White Skulls gob, so lying was probably a well-honed art to that infamous tribe, and it made Dulp proud to know that he could somewhat keep up with that.
“You’re gorgeous, and you’ll be a hit at the Academy; I already know it!” exclaimed Skippy. “Now, come on. We’re going into the village and we’re going to write that letter of recommendation together. The war between King Rilewun and the Duke has already begun, so the Royal Academy is definitely going to need you. You’re perfect for the job, and trust me…you’ll turn all the boys’ heads.”
“I…I don’t…” stammered Gesine. “I don’t understand why…Why are you doing this for me, Skippy?”
“Because you deserve better,” said Skippy matter-of-factly. “We all do…Don’t let other people keep you down…You working for the Duke? That’s just hopping from one abusive situation to the next…Make your own path…Go be what the world needs right now…We need you, Gesine…I need you. I need you to be the new professor for the Defense Against the Duke’s Arts class, because there’s nobody better. With your knowledge passed on to the next generation? That’ll really stick it in the Duke’s eye.”
The young human woman wiped one more time at her dark eyes and then slowly nodded in reply.
“Okay,” she said quietly. “I trust you, Skippy, and I’ll do it, but only because I believe you this time. I can tell you’re not lying, but don’t betray me again…I’ll do it, but I want you to understand that I’m doing it for you…You were the only one that gave me the time of day anyway.”
“Aww, don’t do it for me,” replied Skippy with a sad smile. “Do it for yourself. You deserve better, Gesine…You and I both know that.”
“Okay,” said Gesine with a weak smile. “Let’s go write that letter.”
******
Skippy waved toward the entrance of Dulp’s little hutch and gave Gesine a wide smile.
“Let’s write that letter!” said the ugly little gob with enthusiasm.
How the big human woman was even going to fit through the door of Dulp’s hutch was beyond Dulp, but that was irrelevant, because Jenny Crazy Eyes suddenly appeared off to their right, and considering it was next to never that the bogos entered any other quarter than their own, this was a sight to see.
Now, Dulp could remember flashes of what had previously happened during the fight with Gesine, so he knew Jenny had oiled herself up on accident and had slid headfirst back into the village…It was everything else he couldn’t remember, but that was irrelevant right now. No, right now was the unwanted scene of a very addled Jenny stumbling towards them, and as previously mentioned, it was a sight to see.
And boy, was it. At first Dulp thought he was seeing a giant chicken walking towards them, but that chicken was actually Jenny. He could tell she was dazed and confused from her stumbling gait, and that oddity, in itself, froze Dulp in place.
Jenny was covered from head to toe in brown and white chicken feathers. Only her face was visible, a ring of feathers around it to display who she was, but it was pretty clear it was her. Dulp would recognize those crimson-tinged eyes anywhere.
Her normally long and straight black hair was globbed with feathers and done up to look like a hen’s comb, and considering how dazed and confused she was, it was also pretty clear that she had not done this to herself.
Of course, that meant someone or someones had done this to her, and Dulp already had a pretty good idea of who those culprits were.
Lyga and Xenon must have taken advantage of the fact that Jenny had been lubed from head to toe with magical frying oil. That oil, slick as it was when first conjured, degraded pretty fast and became like tar, and those two troublemakers knew that before they’d even followed Skippy’s order to check on Jenny…In fact, everyone in the village knew that magical frying oil had to be heated again after the magic left it or it was just like a sticky resin. It was common knowledge.
That, and it was also, also pretty clear that Jenny’s slide into town had temporarily addled her, setting up ample opportunity for Lyga and Xenon to mess with her, and boy, had they messed with her. They had probably released her into the gobs’ part of the village on purpose, too, which was stupid, because your average gob might try to eat her on account of mistaking her for a giant chicken, and that would mean explodied gobs all over the place…
The whole North Quarter could be destroyed.
Dulp grimaced and shook his head.
As soon as Jenny got her head together, the scat was going to hit the windmill, and he did not want to be in the middle of it when that scat came-a-rainin’-down.
Skippy’s Field Notes #50:
As I’ve explained before, the gobs of Pingo love fried chicken, but they must overcome some small obstacles in order to enjoy their chosen meal of the gods.
The first obstacle is to actually find a chicken, and that first obstacle can be quite difficult for gobs to overcome, but they always manage to find or nick one anyway.
The second and third obstacles, of course, are to kill and pluck the chicken in question. The gobs chop off the head of the chicken and then pluck the succulent fowl, but they don’t discard the feathers. The feathers are given to the bogos, but what the females of the village do with said feathers, I simply do not know.
The fourth obstacle is the most important one, and that is to fry the chicken. Normally, the bogos cook for the gobs, but when it comes to frying chicken, the gobs hold that honor, and this is an unspoken rule for some reason.
I previously mentioned that the bogos make some kind of oil for the chicken to be fried in, and thanks to Jenny, I now know how that oil is made.
The oil is conjured into existence through a magic that only the bogos know. That magical oil is super slick at first, but as soon as all magical essence leaves it, it becomes thick and sticky like pitch or tar. Even so, its thick stickiness leaves and becomes slick again once subjected to an intense amount of heat, so the bogos keep the stuff in cauldrons, and those cauldrons can be heated by the gobs for the frying of chicken.
Naturally, the chicken is cut into pieces and then breaded by the bogos in preparation for frying. The gobs then gather in the square around a heated cauldron filled with oil and drop the breaded pieces in. The chicken is then fried and ready for consumption.
Delicious!
S.P.W.
Well, this was bad. It was swiftly looking like someone was going to have to defuse this situation, literally, or Jenny was going to explodied everything in sight. Of course, there was only one candidate for the job, and considering his unique connection with Jenny, he was literally the only candidate…
“Skippeeeeee!” cried Dulp in a panic.
Goblins in the Mist: Chapter Eleven Copyright © 2024 bloodytwine.com Matthew L. Marlott
The lead image for this chapter was created by use of public resources courtesy of Canva.com. The image of “Tall Sally” was generated via artificial intelligence courtesy of Open AI.